What I Have Learnt About Friendships
They have been brought to the forefront of my mind these couple of days because of Liv and Charlotte’s brand spanking new podcast- it’s the fringe of it- and omg it’s worth a listen. On there first episode they discussed the difficulty of making friends as an adult. They definitely hit the nail on the head; I was literally nodding my head throughout the whole thing.
There seems to be a perception that because of social media we need to be connected all the time. When you’re seeing everyone’s daily life besting posted virtually it can give you the impression that you are keeping up to date with them even though there has been no face-to-face interaction, which can make you feel lonely and insignificant.
I value friendships on the face to face interactions rather than text/private messaging someone (which can bring some miscommunication and the odd discussion that I never reply). I know I’m this day and age people rely on texting to feel valued and show that you care about someone. I don’t view it this way. I use text messaging as a means to reach out and make plans with someone or tell them something super exciting that I can’t wait to tell them before I see them again.
4 Things I’ve Learnt About Friendships
People Get Busier- Small Talk Disappears
I hope I’m not the only one that hates small talk when I’m busy with work or just life, I don’t have the time to talk about “how are you” or “what you been up to” I’m no longer 16 anymore. Quick texts to make plans is way less time-consuming and to the point which allows you to actually have something to talk about when you meet. This brings me onto my next point,
Face To Face Interaction
I want to talk to my friends face to face and ask them what they have been up to. I don’t go on Facebook as much anymore because I don’t wanna know what people have gotten up to so it makes me want to see them and actually ask them what they are doing with their life at the moment. I also think that if you rely just on phone communication, you can feel more lonely and distant even though you are staying in touch. I am always up for a pub trip or a lovely lunch out somewhere. Even doing something free like going to a friend’s house to watch a movie or go for a walk makes for a brilliant catch up session.
Don’t Stick To One Friendship Group
I always thought, as a child, that having one big, super close friendship group was the only way to have a lot of friends. As I have gotten older, I appreciate more of a variety of friends. I like having different friendship groups to talk and do different things with. As you grow as a person you will have different hobbies, interests to your school/college friends so you need to meet new people and learn new things with other people who are like-minded. I have a college group of friends and then some teacher friends, so I can talk about any issues I have with my teaching friends because my college friends won’t fully understand! I now would love to meet a group of bloggers because my friends don’t get how difficult this is because they don’t do it.
It’s Ok To End Negative Friendships
Sometimes people grow apart, fall out or you just fizzle out and that is OK! You will meet new people but it might take a couple of months, but just know you will find someone else! Another person or group will appreciate you how you are. I remember at college I fell out with all my ‘school friends’ I was heartbroken but I found some college friends who are now some of the closest friends I have so there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!